Perhaps a more apt title for this article would be: I Get It – I Finally Get It (I Think).
You see, I am not entirely sure that I have broken my habit of vacillation, you know, vacillating between one thought to the next – and at times, they are polar opposites. I think you get what I am trying to say, and perhaps, just perhaps, you have experienced this yourself.
But what is it that I think I have finally got? Simply put, something that has been keeping me trapped in fear, in an open-door cage, and in my own self-inflicted brutality.
I now understand the following, which is definitely true for me, but perhaps you have experienced something different, and that’s okay too.
Since birth, I was thrust into a religion not of my choosing. Then before I was 3 years old, I was raised by nuns until 9 years old, and hence began my entrenchment into the indoctrination of the Catholic faith. Now whilst there was a lot, and I mean a lot, of great things that I learnt, I just could not shake the primary underlying theme of hell, fire and damnation which was enwrapped in fear, and that we are all sinners. Another song rang through my head – where is the Love? Yeah, where was the Love. That soft, gentle loving touch of a loving mother’s hand? In my life, it was absent. Where was the loving devoted Father that God was supposedly meant to be. None of it was experiential. It was pure indoctrination, but a child knows no better. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not knocking the Catholic church, but I am most definitely knocking any religion that teaches and preaches hell, fire and damnation, and which instills and governs through fear (history stands tall on this one). It just does not reflect the Love (God is Love) that I have come to know personally in my own life subsequent to this experience.
So let’s get back to – what do I finally get?
I finally get that it honestly does not matter what road you travel. It does not matter what teaching, path, or religious stance you stand for. What does matter however, is where is the Love in all of this. Is Love the central theme (and let me just state that forgiveness is synonymous with Love), and do you extend Love to others.
I cannot help but reflect on my own life. The countless amounts of teachings I have followed, preached, dedicated my life to, wanting to save the world through my own personal agenda (beliefs), but this was not helpful at all. While I was learning all the theory, I was not having an intimate relationship with Love or myself. I was not cleansing my mind and life from fear, anger, hate, jealousy and rage. Rather, I was putting a blanket on it, like one does to a fire, hoping that it would be put out a ‘la-natural. Ha! That didn’t work but I still continued to try and learn and seek new ways of being, thinking – this is it.
And today, I finally got it! Let all that go!
Kindle a love relationship with Love itself, and extend that to all others.
It does not matter what you think of me, or for that matter, what I even think of myself. What does matter is this – did I live my life in service by extending Love to all I meet. Was I able to get up every time I fell, shake the dust off, heal the bruises and carry on – onwards, upwards, inwards, homeward bound.
Together. We are in this together.
No-one is alone, although I know that I have felt this a lot lately. But that is all that it is – a feeling, not the truth.
None of us is alone.
I am here for you, to stand by you in silence and to look at the setting sun, knowing that tomorrow, another day is waiting to be born.
Join me in extending Love to all we meet, and in this way, we will be doing our bit to make the world a bit of a brighter, lighter and better place to live.
I love you.